A House, a Puppy and a Baby
I gradually got more comfortable as a new bride. Dave and I learned how to communicate about the things that were hard to talk about. Both of us had made an unspoken decision that our marriage would be better than our parents and the decision set us on a journey for a healthy marriage.
We had been married three years when we bought a house. We wanted one to have some property so we made an offer on one on Laurel Drive, it was on three-quarters of an acre in the Melrose area. I was proud we bought a house before having a baby and were financially sound which meant we could start a family.
Peggie, one of Dave’s “ladies,” is what we called them in those days, had a German shorthair mix that had a litter of puppies. We fell in love with the squirming, happy puppies and picked our favorite. We named her Abby. Dave did an excellent job of training her; he taught her the boundaries of our property, she was mellow and so easy to love.
When we got pregnant, we went to tell our parents. Dave’s parents were so excited. When we went to my parents my dad, he wasn’t home from work yet so we told my mom. Telling her was a different story than it was his parents. Her response was flat, with no emotion whatsoever. It left me hollow, my womanhood denied, just like back in junior high. Later I found out one of my sisters was pregnant out of wedlock and that’s why my mother was so shut down. In my mind, that was no excuse. She could have adjusted her attitude for a few minutes and been happy for us. We waited until my dad got home from work and he was tickled pink.
Dave’s grandparent’s fiftieth anniversary would be the first time I met his extended family in Nebraska. We rode with Dave’s dad and mom in their pickup. It was cramped, especially for me, I was five months pregnant. The plan was to spend one night in a motel with all of us in one room. It was so awkward, four people had to share one bathroom. The worst part was when we found a motel, it was in Winnemucca, Nevada where nudity was accepted. It’s hard to believe now but someone decided we should go to a striptease show. I had no voice, I didn’t stand my ground, but there isn’t anything worse than to be with your husband’s parents watching a nearly nude woman converting across the stage. I hated every minute.
The best part of the trip was meeting Dave’s grandparents. Dave and I stayed at their house and they were so sweet, warm, and gentle. Grandma was used to making breakfast for a farming crew, she served oatmeal, hash browns, eggs, bacon, and homemade applesauce and toast with corncob jelly, a specialty of hers. I felt like I gained five pounds from the meals on that Nebraska trip.
Sandy my co-worker was concerned about my lack of preparation for our baby’s birth. When I was a child, I was fearful I wouldn’t know how to nurture my baby. Little did I know, God would use my uncertainty to draw me back to him.
Dave’s Aunt Rena held the baby shower. She invited friends and relatives; in those days before ultrasounds were commonly used, we didn’t know our babies’ sex. Instead of the traditional blue for boys and pink for girls, some gifts were soft neutral colors. We got lots of cloth diapers as this was before disposable diapers. Dave’s Mom knit a white baby blanket and mine sewed a colorful little quilt. I was able to find celebrations are in all walks of life.
My boss and co-workers at Lockwood Ford threw me a “money shower,” enough to get to a highchair, a changing table, a colorful mobile with little animals hanging on it, and a bright orange shag rug. All of which completed the nursery making it sunny and bright.
I quit my job six weeks before the due date. This would be the very first time I hadn’t worked since grade school. I couldn’t paint the nursery because of the fumes and I wasn’t sure what to do, so the time crawled along as I waited for my due date.
Shortly before our baby’s due date, one of Dave’s co-workers called me every day asking if my labor had started. I felt like saying “Please don’t ask me again.” It wasn’t like I could start my labor. I was tired of waiting though so I remember I started a load of clothes and set out to go to town to run errands.
I stopped at my parent’s on my way. When I stood up to get out of the car, my water broke. My mom gave me a towel and I drove right back home. It was lunchtime and labor was coming fast and furious. I called Dave, and he came home and drove me to my already scheduled doctor’s appointment. On the way I kept asking Dave to roll down, then back up and back and forth because I was hot then cold. I was in labor with a capital L! We stopped at the doctor’s office, and he gave me a para-cervical block for pain relief and sent me off to the hospital.
We had a baby girl. She was born on March 16th at 4:24 in the afternoon. It was only four and a half hours of labor and I wasn’t ever in pain. We named her Serena, after one of Dave’s ladies' kids. She used to come to the salon and bring the little girl. After getting her hair done she‘d leave her daughter at the salon while she went to a bar to drink. Dave was determined to use the name Serena and to give our little girl a better life. We symbolically tried to save her from her mom’s neglect.
I was afraid I wouldn’t know how to give a bottle to my new baby. I asked the night nurse, Jenny to wake me in the middle of the night so I could practice. That was a mistake. Too soon I would be sleep-deprived. Jenny had a sweet, kind, and patient disposition she assured me that I would be a good mother.
Dave brought me flowers in a little Raggedy Ann planter; she was a redhead like Dave.
Dave’s clients were so happy they showered us with pink girly clothes. Our dresser drawers were full and very small dresses hung in the closet.
It was Spring break when we got home from the hospital. A neighbor boy was practicing his drums, the constant noise unnerved me so I called his mom and fortunately, the noise stopped. I didn’t know why it bothered me so much but it was because I was on the verge of a terrible bout of post-partum blues.
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