Settling In
Finally, the baby blues started to loosen their grip on me. Serena still spit up but I could handle it since she was sleeping longer at night. The nursery with all the bright and happy colors felt cheerful and the baby clothes she got from her baby shower felt like dressing the baby doll that she was. Story books and toys filled a basket ready for when and wherever.
My next-door neighbor, Jenny was a God-send to me, literally. She came and showed me how to bathe Serena. First, put warm water in the baby bathtub on the bathroom counter. Put my left hand around my baby’s right thigh to help cradle my soapy, slippery baby and it supports her head. My right hand was to be free to use to give her a sponge bath. Rinse carefully then wash and rinse her hair. Pretty simple, but the step-by-step worked with my logical mind.
Since Jenny didn’t drive, we did our grocery shopping together. We went store to store to buy items on sale. We took turns carrying Serena if she was fussy or just to give one of us a break. I watched young mothers shopping with their little ones crying, maybe it was time to go home for lunch or a well-deserved nap. A goal of mine on every outing was to be home in time for Serena’s. After lunch, I would put her down for a nap and take a twenty-minute nap. It refreshed me for the rest of the day especially when Serena slept forty-five minutes. When I introduced Serena to baby food and she no longer needed her formula, it was easier to schedule her mealtimes around other activities and chores.
Slowly I learned to be delighted by the little things. One was making her first baby rice cereal, mixed with banana into a “smoothie.” Or, the baby carrots that turned her little nose a bright yellow, the bites of peas she was not sure she wanted in her mouth, her chubby fingers reaching for new things, and gummy toys designed to help soothe a teething baby. I can recall the soft cooing sounds in response to hearing Daddy’s voice when he came home from work and her big smile when she saw him. I smiled as she reached new milestones it was good, I was delighted in the fact Jesus was teaching me step by step.
I wanted to take off the extra weight gained during my pregnancy. A co-worker of Dave’s suggested three hundred calories a day, three eggs and a grapefruit. Stupid diet, how could that sustain a busy mom? My next plan was to exercise daily, I bought a jump rope and exercised daily in my dining room, it was quick and easy.
Our dog Abby was sweet with Serena, it was a good thing she wasn’t a puppy when having to deal with a little person. I loved to watch Abby settling down before she took her nap, she’d turn around and around. Dave said I was like that when I got in bed, he called it making potato chips, turning around just like Abby. Tossing and turning until I was comfortable in bed was one of those unresolvable matters. James Dobson a Christian psychologist says there are, “Things we learn to live with, little ones that can divide a marriage but don’t truly matter.”
After Dave came to the Lord, church attendance was a big part of our lives. The church nursery was a safe and secure place for babies and Serena didn’t mind being left with Joan, she loved kids and greeted Serena with open arms. I was still trying to adjust to staying home instead of working at a regular job. Serena kept me busy but my creative side needed an outlet. A neighbor taught me to make macramé plant hangers, with rope and wooden beads woven in. Each plant holder was a little different in length and had beads of different colors. I had time to sew little dresses for Serena from remnant fabric in pastel colors complimenting her rosy cheeks.
My oldest sister Grace had a baby girl she and her husband named her Tiffany. She was born six weeks before Serena. Babies like babies, so it was fun to watch them study each other. Grace and my parents lived in Roseburg, and we got to see them a lot but watching babies grow is bittersweet. You want them to grow and change, but don’t want to miss any of the first stages which pass all too quickly. At some point I got to say goodbye to baby food and cloth diapers and hello to grown-up food.
The day Serena took her first steps I was in the bathroom. She came walking in, clapping her hands so proud of her accomplishment. When a child starts to walk, they get into new things and all kinds of mischief. When I was visiting my friend, Mary, we sat in her living room, I automatically moved something on her coffee table out of Serena’s reach. Mary said, “How is she going to learn the word, “No? Good point.
We decided we were ready to have another baby, my pregnancy was easy, with no morning sickness. Just like with Serena, the first sign was I was tired. I watched my weight but for my doctor’s appointment one week I was shocked to see I gained a bunch. I called my neighbor Jenny who was going to Weight Watchers and we went together one night. I wasn’t overweight by their standards so I couldn’t join. I was disappointed with their decision. Jenny gave me a copy of the diet plan so I could follow it on my own. The next time I went to see the doctor I had lost weight rather than gained like a typical pregnancy.
Before I got pregnant, I was selling Tri-Chem liquid embroidery paints. I was scheduled to teach a class with a group of our neighbor ladies. When Kitty opened the door, the whole group of ladies sang out “Surprise!” It was especially fun getting new baby things and some of the ladies had slipped in blue items just in case we had a boy.
I went into labor on an early June evening while we were at a Wednesday night prayer meeting. It had been a warm day and going into labor made it uncomfortably hotter. I left the sanctuary to sit on the concrete steps going down to the basement where it was cool and quiet.
It was obvious my labor was progressing so my sister Sophie and Dave’s brother Zack took Serena home with them. Dave and I went to the hospital at about ten o’clock. Our baby boy was born June 14th at 3:23PM after only five hours of labor. We named him Douglas, he weighed seven pounds, five ounces. He looked so little after Serena’s eight-pound birth. While Serena had Dave’s red hair and freckles, Doug’s hair was soft brown like mine, and his hazel green eyes were like Mom’s dad.
In preparation for the new baby, we bought Serena a baby doll with a bottle and it wore a diaper and nightgown. It to help her grasp the idea of sharing her world with another little person. It didn’t work out quite the way we planned. I was sitting in a recliner in a red bathrobe holding Doug. Serena took one look at the baby and tore down the hall asking, “Where’s that baby’s mommy?” However, it didn’t take her long to decide he could stay.
Doug was an easy baby; chubby, round, and cute. He spit up like Serena, so a burp cloth was over my shoulder most of the time. Most women lose weight while they are nursing, not me. I gained weight much to my dismay. This time it would be a mini trampoline and an exercise tape that helped drop off some of the extra pounds, but not all of them until he was weaned.
When he started to crawl, he, “worked” on his high chair with a plastic tool and was going after it with great zeal. He still loves fixing things, especially with anything with wheels or bearings. One afternoon while Dad and Mom visited us, Doug could stand on his own yet he was leaning on a footstool, eating Cheerios and picking up one at a time. Dad got a big kick watching him concentrate on the task at hand, it was great to see the interaction between them.
Dave’s parents were equally delighted in both of our little ones' lives. We had dinner at their house once a week and with our family one weekend per month at their Diamond Lake summer home. Every year in the fall they bought our kids coats to help get ready for school to start, even when they weren’t going to school at their young ages.
Church was an important part of our lives. We spent time with other young families, we were all like-minded and enjoyed their company. We supported each other with trials or triumphs and the ups and downs of family life. A man at church asked me how I was doing having two little ones. I told him I was a mom “by faith” I knew I couldn’t do it without God’s help; he was my hope and confidence.
Dr. James Dobson helped us again through his radio program. It was an invaluable resource for Dave and I. His teaching of successful parenting strengthened us in our daily interactions with our children. In the three-year-old Sunday school class kids brought home a little paper booklet, it had short Bible stories that reinforced the lesson of the week. It included helpful tips for parents as well as an activity for parent-child involvement.
One summer play activity suggested to us was that we make a water table. A picnic bench was just the right height. We put plastic teapots, pitchers, a series of little cups, and bowls filled with water as well as some little yellow duckies on it. It was wonderful for a child to play alone or with another toddler, mommy, or daddy. Measuring water, pouring it, and watching it flow over and getting wet, was so fun. Later, we set up a picnic table bench just like it on our front porch for our grandchildren.
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