Irish Tea
Sometimes Serena came home for a weekend and Dave and I enjoyed being together with her. Serena and I talked every day. She got an apartment with three girlfriends from church. She had her ups and downs with them as housemates. The types of challenges you’d expect with people from varied backgrounds and different personalities. Serena found it required growing out of her selfish ways to make it a good experience. She loved her church and went several times a week for regular church service, Bible study and a group for college-age and single people. That’s where she met Will.
Will has a strong charismatic personality and is strong in body and build. He’s hard to ignore in a group because he doesn’t have one shy bone in his body. He and Serena dated a few months before he asked her to marry him. Since she lived in Eugene she was going to be married at the church she attended. Making the wedding plans consumed Serena’s and my thoughts. We were making decisions long distance and we were on the phone a lot discussing one detail or another. Early on Dave, Serena and I set up a budget. Serena and I were careful with each expense category. For the color theme, she chose purple with cream as an accent for the flowers then we decided what kind to use to make the arrangements, the bridesmaids’ dresses, the catering, and on and on. We had our basic plan and priorities and worked within those the as best we could. We had volunteers that made the wedding a success. One of Serena’s girlfriends went to all the second-hand stores in town to collect carafes for water for each table at the reception. My friend Lois, a floral designer, made small flower arrangements for all the tables which added a beautiful finishing touch to the whole room.
At the same time as I was planning the wedding, a friend let me go to her house when she was at work so I could practice on her computer before I bought one for the salon and home. I was still working part-time at the salon as the receptionist and doing the bookkeeping. I was also still mourning the loss of my friend Katie who’d died of cancer two months before. In addition, I had a relatively new part-time job, three days a week from 11:00 AM to 4:00 PM at McDonald Wholesale Food Distributors. One day I’d been at work for only about an hour and I kept getting mixed up and making mistakes. The office manager said to me, “Margee what are you taking?” It was Sudafed. I’d been taking it for allergies but it revved my mind up and I just couldn’t think straight. That was my first experience having an adverse reaction to Sudafed, an over-the-counter drug. Then later by prescription only, because it was part of the chemical cocktail to make meth.
All the stress manifested itself in my body; my left arm and shoulder were so painful it was difficult to carry my lightweight purse. I had been in Eugene with Serena shopping for her wedding dress and my arm and shoulder pain was intense. The first thing I did when I got back to Roseburg was go straight to urgent care hoping to get some relief. The doctor gave me a cortisone shot in my shoulder. Once again it revved me up just like the Sudafed, so much I couldn’t sleep that night.
Will’s mother who lived in San Diego California was a feisty Irish Catholic. She had her cultural ideas. She wanted an Irish band and dancing, I wasn’t opposed to dancing but I assumed an Irish band would be expensive and I didn’t take the time to research. We ended up having live music it just wasn’t Irish.
When I met her, she reminded me of my dad’s rough and gruff sister, Martha. I was so stressed I found her intimidating, and I instinctively guarded myself and limited my contact with her. I wish I had been more understanding and welcoming, she had come a long way from Orange County California to a non-Catholic church. She was a total stranger to everyone who was there to honor her son and his bride. Will knew his mother didn’t drink coffee; she drank black Irish Tea. So, he made his mom a big thermos for the rehearsal. The kitchen crew brewed a pot of hot tea for her at the wedding reception which was a catered meal.
When the day of the wedding finally arrived, I had volunteered to help Serena with her makeup. I was a little nervous about how long it was taking. She was a little shaky and kept saying “I don’t feel pretty, I don’t feel pretty.” That was not true, she was radiant. The wedding was beautiful. All the careful planning was finished and it was time to simply enjoy the day. I thought it was sweet, my dad requested a love song Casey Danced All Night Long. Serena and Will danced the wedding dance, but they didn’t dance all night long.
After the wedding, Will’s mom told him that we treated her like, “dog meat.” A few months after that, Will picked her up at the Portland airport to celebrate Thanksgiving in Eugene with my family. I had a bad cold; I didn’t want to spread it so I stayed home. If I’d gone maybe I could have engaged with her in conversation. But the day of the wedding was the only time I saw her and I didn’t have a chance to make amends. Four months later I quit my job at McDonald’s. I had stretched myself too thin. I’d completed setting up the salon books on Quick Books, my daughter was happily married and I could finally relax.
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